Saturday, December 5, 2009

Craziness--looong update

I guess since I have followers now I should try to update a little more often. Things have been so crazy lately.

Last weekend when the kids were to be with their father he decided it would be a good idea to allow Creed to go spend some time with his Gram (bio mom's mom). We had talked about this before and came to an agreement that Creed wouldn't go there anymore until he was in therapy. She has a history of brain washing the poor child and I didn't feel he needed to be around her. When I first got Creed I tried to give her the benefit of the doubt and I allowed Creed to spend one night with her. She told me that she would help me out any way possible and I told her that Creed desperatly needed jeans. She said that was no problem and she would take him shopping while she had him and buy him a new winter coat and some jeans. He came home with a new coat, a brand new DS (he already had one that he had hid from his brothers and forgot where he put it) and 2 new games for it. He also told me how he got to play with his gram's voodoo doll while he was there. After hearing all of that I decided that as long as he was in my care he was not to be around her unsupervised. I of course couldn't supervise the visits myself with my 3 kids around so that is why I decided to make it possible for her to come spend an hour a month with him during one of his weekly therapy sessions. OK so back to last weekend, Creed ended up spending 4 days with his gram. When he came home I could tell that all the progress I had made with him in the last 2 months went right out the window. He didn't want to listen to me anymore, was crying a lot more than usual, being very sloppy with his school work, etc. I called dad and flipped out asking him what the heck he was thinking by doing this and he said that he felt bad for the gram because she is getting surgery soon. This lady put us through hell while we were still married and trying to get custody of Creed and he felt bad for her???!!!

I had a meeting at the school on Thursday to try to get Creed a T.S.S. to work with him in the classroom. There was a lady from the mental health place there that was fully aware of our situation, his teacher, me, and a lady from the billing agency that wasn't so aware of our situation. We got about 15 minutes away from being done with the hour long meeting and it came up that I wasn't a biological parent so the billing agency lady stopped the meeting and told us we couldn't proceed with the meeting anymore until I had custody papers or got dad to drag his lazy self to a meeting. She gave me a couple options to go about getting custody of Creed which involved me getting ahold of CPS to have them help me out. I immediatly came home and got on the phone to try to make that happen. When I called and gave them my name they gave me the name of the intake worker that I would need to speak with about it. That kind of got my head going wondering why I could only speak to one paticular person when it was such a general question. I ended up leaving that worker 2 messages on Thursday and never recieved a call back. I tried again on Friday and was told she wasn't available so I asked to talk to her supervisor. When I was asking the supervisor about the paper I was told I could get from them she gave me a run around telling me she didn't think they had anything like that. Then here comes the best part.....she tells me that there was recently a report filed AGAINST ME!!! I was shocked to say the least but I know that I have done nothing wrong to even be worried about it so I asked what the report was on. She told me that it was reported that I am constantly on drugs, let my kids just run wild, I beat my children on a regular basis and that everyone has been buying Creed new clothes but they disappear when they come to my house. I told her that I was more than willing to take a drug test because I know that I have nothing to worry about, my kids do not get beat and if they have any bruises it is because with 4 boys in a house it is hard to keep them from playing rough and bruising each other and any new clothes that Creed has got since coming to live with me were bought by me with child support payments (which are intended for my kids since Creed isn't added to my support yet). I was so upset that someone (Creed's gram) is trying to prevent me from doing what is best for this child. I made so many phone calls Friday trying to get things straightened out but I didn't feel like I was getting anywhere so I decided to call the school guidence counselor and have a meeting with her. She about fell off her chair when I told her that I was reported to CPS. She reassured me that I had nothing to worry about and begged me to please not give up on Creed. She even called CPS on my behalf and told them they had an open invitation to come to the school and speak with Creed, Kaleb, their teachers, Kaleb's T.S.S. and herself.

One more set back for me before things will get better, but I know they WILL get better!

Monday, September 28, 2009

Getting on the right track

Today was a pretty good day other than the fact that I am coming down with a cold. I made some phone calls and got appts. set up for Creed to get evaluated again for ADHD and to get a psych. eval. We are also going to get him a TSS to keep him in line in the classroom. I am trying my best to get him on the right track. I know with some tough love and a little help that I can improve his life. The guidance counselor told me today that he hasn't completed a single assignment yet this school year, that includes work in the classroom and his homework. I discussed with the guidance counselor about getting his brain development tested to see if he possibly has some mental delays since his maturity level is no where near where it should be for a 9 year old. She agreed with me that it would be a good idea.

Tomorrow is picture day at school so I took Creed shopping and bought him a brand new outfit to wear. He complained the whole time. I tried explaining to him that he should be grateful that I care enough to buy him a new outfit for pictures. I honestly don't think he knows what it is like to have someone actually truly care for him and WANT to see him succeed in life.

Seeing how much Kaleb has improved in the last year with his meds, therapy, and TSS gives me hope for Creed. Kaleb is doing so well in school. He has brought home 4 tests so far this school year and he has gotten a 100% on all of them. He makes me so proud. I went on his field trip with him last Friday and I was so excited to see how well behaved he was. Normally when he doesn't get his own way he will have a little meltdown but he stayed very calm the entire day. It is hard to believe that this time last year I was dealing with the stress and paperwork from him getting kicked out of school and needing to go into the partial program.

Jaymes and Jacob are enjoying their preschool program. Jacob just loves getting to ride on the school bus finally instead of just watching his brothers go on one. Jaymes does very well there and follows the rules, Jacob on the other hand is my stubborn one and has a hard time listening. I know that before long I will end up having to have him evaluated for ADHD.

To end on a happy note Jaymes said the funniest thing today. While I was on the phone with one of my sisters he kept interrupting me. I told him if he wouldn't be quiet and give me a minute I was sending him to her house to watch the kids that she was babysitting so she could come to my house and we could chat. He thought I said kitties instead of kids, her cat had kittens about 2 months ago and he has a ball playing with them. He said that he wanted to go to her house and watch the kitties. I told him that I said kids not kitties and that kitties can watch themselves. He looked at me with this very serious face and said "Mom, kitties can't watch themselves, their eyes are only on the inside." I laughed so hard. Gotta love the cute things that come out of the mouths of little kids.

Sunday, September 27, 2009

my first attempt at blogging....

So I have finally decided to start a blog in the hopes that I can vent and relieve some stress.

I am a single mom trying to raise my 3 little boys and as of last week my ex-husband's 9 year old son Creed from a previous relationship. My oldest son Kaleb (6) was diagnosed with ADHD and ODD about a year ago and my middle son Jaymes (4) was diagnosed with ADHD a few months later. My youngest Jacob (3) is showing all the same signs as the older 2 so it is just a matter of time before he ends up being diagnosed also. My step-son was also diagnosed with ADHD when he was younger but his bio mom didn't do much to try to help him. I feel a little gullible for the fact that I have decided to take him into my home and that I am trying to fix the mistakes that others have made but I love this child like he is my own and I don't want to see him fail in life. Everyday is a struggle to stay sane but the I love you's I hear each day make it worth it.